karohemd | Entries tagged with bad films

pmoodie recently mentioned that Shark in Venice was about to be released and it came from Lovefilm today. Unlike Shark Attack 3 (by the same production team), it actually has reasonable acting and SFX. Unfortunately, no John Barrowman.
( The plot is worthy of Bonekickers, ya rly )

Choice quotes:
"I am bleeding and I can't talk."
"You're going to be in heaven in a few moments but first I'm going to put you through hell."
"This is Captain Buena Sera, put your weapons down." (Captain Good Evening) He's actually saying "Bonasera" but this way it's funnier.

Current Mood: amused

is a very special low-budget horror film but has nothing to do with the already risible but not that bad Troll (but is on the same DVD for some reason). Everything is special in this film, the sets, the acting, the, er, effects and costumes.

I'm half tempted to actually buy this and make it the centrepiece of a MST3K bit at a party...

Current Mood: amused

Wow, I don't think I've come out of a film recently and really thought I'd wasted my money. I was lured to Taken because it was on when I wanted to see something (I would have been too late for Righteous Kill), it has a 7.8 (so not bad at all) rating on imdb and it's directed by they guy who did District 13 and produced by Luc Besson. How wrong I was.
Basic premise: Divorced, retired navy seals (or some other US govt troubleshooter) op Liam Neeson is obsessed with his 17-year-old daughter who lives with her mum and her stupidly-rich stepdad. He grudgingly agrees to sign a statement to allow his daughter to travel to Paris with her step-sister (allegedly to go to museums and shit but in reality they're going to tour around Europe following U2 on their tour). In Paris, they meet a nice guy at the airport who shares their taxi and invites them to a party in the evening. They promptly get abducted while her dad is listening on the phone and it gets worse from there.
( Taken in five minutes )

I mean, I watch a lot of rubbish. Wanted was rubbish but it was entertaining rubbish. This I just wanted to end because the plot and LN's surviving every fight against huge odds was so contrived. The fights were just brutal in shaky cam style, there was no coolness or panache, it was boring as hell.

Current Mood: disappointed

Last night's

camgothfilmclub featured Zombie Flesh Eaters (Zombi 2) which was actually really good, especiall the Zombie make-up but obviously had to endure various bits of heckling, especially the gratuitous nudity. Lots of blood and gore (and a rather nasty eye-gouging scene which was apparently state of the art at the time but at today's standard it was rather lame), bad acting and badly synched dubbing (half the cast speaking English, the other Italian). Marvellous.

The seond film on offer was Deep River Savages, which is supposed to be the one that started the whole cannibal craze but it had only one flesh eating scene in it. The film also suffers from a number of serious cuts (something like 7 minutes have been cut in the UK version) which make the odd plot even more confusing. In the end we agreed it was more like ethnic-crossover soft porn than horror which seems to be confirmed by the original title which translates roughly as "The land of wild sex". It was really only bearable because we heckled all the way through and made our own dub.

Current Mood: busy

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a film that might even be too bad for the Holloways' bad movie night. I think I need to be drunk to watch this and not despair but it's OK to have on in the background while working on

sea_cucumber

ETA: The best bit is "Engel" by Rammstein in the end credits. ;oÞ