Million Dollar Questions

[karohemd]

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
10. What is the speed of darkness?
11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
17. If someone with a split personality threates to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
18. Can you cry under water?
19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?
23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

5. You can't get any other kind of needle. Really, we tried at the medical device company, because sterilised ones are expensive, not to mention the amount of packaging you have to dispose of.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Interesting.

[deborah_c]

What did you want contaminated needles for, though?

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Not entirely sure, it will have been some lab application in the "can we actually get this manufacturing method to work in order to make a thing that looks like this" sense, not for anything involving actual living things. Except the scientist obviously.

We didn't want them contaminated as much as not needing them to be sterile.

[sea-cucumber.livejournal.com]

10. What is the speed of darkness?

I reckon it would be -299,792,458 m/s? What a strange thought O_o

great post though! I empathise with number 2 :) :)

[mazzarc.livejournal.com]

9. let alone the spelling of the word phonetic... isn't.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

To make sure it isn't a faulty button?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Because they're rapacious money-grubbing bastards

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because the stars thing isn't likely to change over a couple of hours.

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Because it's formulated not to. It goes hard very slowly by reacting with air. When it's in a bottle only the top molecules are affected, and that isn't enough to make it go hard, when it's spread out as a thin layer the same reaction spreads through much faster and affects a bigger proportion of molecules.

5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

As someone said, you can't get any other type.

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Bad writing.

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Bad acting.

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

For their radios, I'd imagine.

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

A sadist's.

10. What is the speed of darkness?

UR Terry Pratchett AICMFP.

11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

Doubt it.

12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

In a cardboard box.

13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Depends on your frame of reference. All is relative, glasshopper.

14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Common ancestors - the apes would be appalled at the idea that we're their descendents. Oook.

15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Helping us by giving us someone to help.

16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

No.

17. If someone with a split personality threates to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Yes/No

18. Can you cry under water?

Yes, but how would you know?

19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Depends if they're "newsworthy" rather than important.

20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

To make it easier to charge you for insufficient funds.

21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

So it doesn't roll when the delivery boy drops it.

22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

Because stations etc. still had porters then.

23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

Because they don't think things through.

24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

That's what the signs say.

25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because they're imagining holding a rifle...

[whollyrandom.livejournal.com]

You do realise you weren't meant to ...

Oh, never mind. Good answers.

[jonny-eol.livejournal.com]

13. Well, absolute zero is -273C. So twice as cold as 0C would be (calculating)...... -136.5C.

[dougs.livejournal.com]

> 5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

For two reasons. Firstly, for the health and safety of the technician administering the injection, and secondly, because the state concedes the possibility that there may be a stay of execution granted after the needle is inserted, but before the lethal drug is administered.

[whiskeylover.livejournal.com]

13- 16 Farenheit?

[eryx-uk.livejournal.com]

I actually asked Colin at Gamers #12 and he said you pack it in more foam. So theres that one solved. :)

[corone.livejournal.com]

I'm sure we are all taking this too seriously, but... :-)

14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
The apes we are decended from arn't around. We are the decendants of a successful mutation among another species. Our version of that species proved more successful and the original died out (being in direct competition with us for resources). Sometimes evolution happens through bad luck. For instance, the Neaderthals had bigger brains than we did, but the enviroment change after the last ice age gave us a change to take them out.

Have a look at the series 'Prey' (what Debra Messing did before Will & Grace!) which I rather liked. A scientist discovers a new race of humans has developed and they are looking to get rid of us to become the next evolutionary step.

[ffutures.livejournal.com]

Thought that was Ultraviolet, the best vampire series ever.

[corone.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, that one was good too!
(Prey didn't last long, about half a series, shame really)

[lsur.livejournal.com]

Ozzy, you are a stirrer :-)