Karohemd's World

1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

To make sure it isn't a faulty button?

2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Because they're rapacious money-grubbing bastards

3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because the stars thing isn't likely to change over a couple of hours.

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Because it's formulated not to. It goes hard very slowly by reacting with air. When it's in a bottle only the top molecules are affected, and that isn't enough to make it go hard, when it's spread out as a thin layer the same reaction spreads through much faster and affects a bigger proportion of molecules.

5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

As someone said, you can't get any other type.

6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Bad writing.

7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Bad acting.

8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

For their radios, I'd imagine.

9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

A sadist's.

10. What is the speed of darkness?

UR Terry Pratchett AICMFP.

11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

Doubt it.

12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

In a cardboard box.

13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Depends on your frame of reference. All is relative, glasshopper.

14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Common ancestors - the apes would be appalled at the idea that we're their descendents. Oook.

15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Helping us by giving us someone to help.

16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

No.

17. If someone with a split personality threates to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Yes/No

18. Can you cry under water?

Yes, but how would you know?

19. What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Depends if they're "newsworthy" rather than important.

20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

To make it easier to charge you for insufficient funds.

21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

So it doesn't roll when the delivery boy drops it.

22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?

Because stations etc. still had porters then.

23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?

Because they don't think things through.

24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

That's what the signs say.

25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because they're imagining holding a rifle...