[Memery] Zombie Apocalypse Now

[karohemd]

(from dragonsire)

The zombie apocalypse begins - NOW! Whenever you read this, whatever you are doing at this moment - that's when you learn zombies are real, they are in your town, & sooner or later, they are coming for you. What do you do?

The rules:

You are yourself as you are at this moment. You are wearing the clothes you are wearing right now, you are at work, school, home, or wherever you are right now, and you have available to you only the items at your location as they are right now & that you can reasonably acquire. I.e., you can't knock out the desk guard & steal his pistol unless your office has armed security & you reasonably could get a gun away from one of them without getting killed or incapacitated yourself.

You are not superhuman. You can only do things you can physically do - if you failed P.E. & haven't set foot in a gym in 10 years, you are not going to be climbing down elevator shafts or sprinting 15 blocks home. Even accounting for adrenaline, you are as susceptible to fatigue, injury, & illness as you normally are.

You have only the knowledge you have right now. I.e., no saying "I go to the janitor's closet & mix ammonia with jelly beans to produce napalm" unless you actually know the ingredients, proper proportions, directions, & use of homemade napalm.

These rules also apply to all friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. No fair inventing an ex-Green Beret uncle unless you actually have one.

The zombies are slow-moving & stupid. They cannot communicate - except to attract other zombies to prey by moaning. They do not plan or coordinate actions. They can only be stopped by destroying the brain stem or being vaporized - other injuries may impair or slow them, but don't stop them. Zombification is spread by bite or scratch. Once infected, you weaken, sicken, & die within hours, then rise as a zombie. No one knows how the zombie plague began, or whether zombies are truly the living dead or infected by some bizarre plague. There is no cure or vaccine against zombification.

Variables like probable traffic jams, alternate routes, places of refuge, utilities, panic & chaos, etc., I leave to your judgment & knowledge of your own community, but in general I'd assume normal zombie-movie conditions - looting, car crashes, confusion, ineffective initial police & military response, etc., as the zombie panic spreads.

What do you do? What are your chances of short-term survival? Long-term survival?

ETA: Some of you lot scare me! ;o)

Comments

[fried-chicken.livejournal.com]

I'm in a secure building surrounded by a fence and security gates. As long as I don't discover about the zombies be them shuffling into the Office convince the security guard to seal off the building and carpark and then take stock of whose in the build, how many water coolers we had and stuff like that.

That would probably do for starters.

To paraphrase the REM Song...

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

I have a twelve pound lump hammer that could decapitate ANYONE with a decent swing downstairs, and I feel fine.

I have me, my Shrub and my Byron here with me. That's all the really important people accounted for. Everyone else better watch out for my mighty hammer-swinging arm of doom. My organic box came this morning, and the fridge and freezer are pretty full. Tesco's and Sainsbury's are both ripe for the looting in easy yomping distance. I'm settled for the long haul, I think.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I'd go downstairs and kill myself with the carving knife, because I'm too tired to do anything else that would prevent me being bitten to death by zombies.

[mazzarc.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

In work, second floor - really not that secure! I'm going to grab my backpack; kick the ends off a coat rail to make a long blungening club and high tail it Tescos to grab myself some supplies pronto, panelling any zombie that gets in my way before I head home.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Knowing you you'll get distracted by the vodka again. ;o)
Then again, I guess vodka bottles would make good molotov cocktails. ;o)

[chrisvenus]

He's not here at the moment to check but at any given time my workmate colin, has several swords in his car (he does re-enactment) so I think that's a good place to start. Gather everybody in the building into a secure area, scout out what's going on. Work out a way into the roof space (to hide the civilians more safely).

Then I suspect see what other makeshift weapons we could make. Syphon petrol from cars if practical, if the area looked safe go into the town center looking for further supplies (weaponry, food, drink).

In parallel with all this I'd have contacted my housemate who knows sacary people and has full security training (including firearms and such like) and probably has access to much weaponry and probably body armour. We'd arrange plans between us and all that too.

I'd live and so would most of the people with me as long as we had reasonabel warning.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think I'd go and be very nice to this man.

[devalmont.livejournal.com]

Once I'd run to Marks and Spencer across the road and done a high speed tax of all of their easily carryable and preferably non-perishable goods, I'd come back in here, shut the shutters, shut the door to the back offices and smash the keypad, lock the two inch thick steel doors, come upstairs, dragged the fridge and water coolers through into the stockroom, locked the electronic keypad lock and the two high security bolts on the door, and then settled down. For more water, bathroom facilities and internet access I need only break through to the next three rooms, all of which have door locks, and I could disable the fan in the air con unit for access to the roof, which could be turned back on to prevent any zombies getting down it.

Oh no, I haven't already thought about this at all!

[ebb.livejournal.com]

Nice to see how rescuing me features in that. :P

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

Get dressed, grab SAC, get stick and kitchen knife. Call Laura, Paul D, Paul H, Robin, and head up A14 to meet up at Bar Hill area. Follow standard anti-zombie procedures from there and monitor all communication channels. Prepare for Evac to the east anglia region.

Short term - reasonable as anyone elses in the chaos.
Long term - good. got the crew, the skills, and the knowledge

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

That is if Cambridge and the A14 aren't gridlocked by the time you find out.

You won't call me? Bah!

[eryx-uk.livejournal.com]

Get dressed, grab the big knife from the kitchen and head over to my folks place. Its a nice bungalow complex around a courtyard. Ring up Big Dave and a few of the other guys, get them over here and start putting up a wooden barricade around the site (I've considered this should we be lucky enough to get a real zombie apocalypse).
Theres room in there that we could have our own garden.

I'd avoid malls, super markets and the like, because they draw crazy looters and zombies.

[elethiomel.livejournal.com]

I'm in a secure government building in central London and I know where the firearms are. A number of my colleagues are ex-military, a few are ex-SF, some more are army-barmy.

I reckon, given our extant heirarchical infrastructure, we could arm and equip a couple of small search-and-rescue teams to comb the surrounding area, secure it and rescue survivors (hopefully I'd be able to persuade some to accompany me home (it's less than 10 miles), to grab ebq)

Our medical resources are limited but St. Thomas' is just over the river so that would probably be our first target. Food etc. wouldn't be a problem for a little while at least as there is a canteen here and there are plenty of lootable stores in the vicinity. By the time it did become an issue we'd be a significant force to be reckoned with.

[pmoodie.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

I'm pretty secure here in my office, it's at the top of an old Victorian building and there are three doors I could lock to keep the zombies from me.

But I'd be worried about El, so I'd really have to go and get her.

There's a neighbouring building that's a short drop from my office window, so if the zombies were pawing at the door I could get out that way then make my way to El's work (which isn't all that far away) and take my chances against the zombie horde.

I can arm myself with a metal ruler and a craft knife! Watch out puss-brains, here I come!

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Pus-brains, surely, unless zombies' braind are replaced by kittens?

Braaaaains! Uuuuurrrrrr-mew-uuuuurrrrr!

[professoryaffle.livejournal.com]

Well we have well equipped labs and are in the middle of nowhere so provided we aren't the source of the zombies we should be fine for a while

Plus I am sure the systems chaps who work in the offices below us will have it all under control!

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

I'm in the brewery...I have beer and a choice of places to hide...I'm staying put and drinking myself into the apocalypse...hic! :@)

[belaroo.livejournal.com]

I'm at home in Ely, the fridge is nearly empty what with it being the end of the week. I'd get the tool box from the garage and any other weapon like objects. Guess I'll be raiding waitrose then.
I say the residents of Littleport and Soham are zombiefied anyway so wish me luck.

[jholloway.livejournal.com]

First priority would be food and clean water, so I guess I'd join the looters for a short while and raid the tool shed for some kind of improvised weapon. Fortunately, Grantchester Street is mostly full of old people and students, at least some of whom are not back yet. Anyone else is going to get zombified at work, and the mass feeding areas are going to be in the city centre, not at the ass-end of the street. Communications could be a big problem, but otherwise I could probably go a long time without being noticed, and if Jane gets zombified I can probably overpower her pretty easily.

On the other hand, if Jane doesn't get zombified I'm going to have to look after her ... and Allison's plumb in the middle of town, and I can hardly just leave her to fight her own way back through the hordes, even though she would probably do it better than I would. Oh, and feanelwa is just around the corner, and I should look in and make sure she's all right. So it would be hop on the Beezer and time for a little adventure bike ride.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Rescued! Thank you! Luckily my fridge and cupboards are nearly full, and I have a shed full of big stick-like things.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I left a comment, then LJ said it was anonymous...stupid LJ, I'm logged in, grrrr

[commlal.livejournal.com]

Bugger.

Get out of work proto would be the main aim, too much potental for zombie swarm due to immobile patients.

Take as many antibiotics and painkillers (empty controlled drug cuboard) and sterile bits and bobs as I can physically carry. After that, raid the shop for easly carried supplies and water. Run to the liburary and nick a decent book on surgery (may be handy later)

Steal Dave's motorbike, or someones bycycle. Get the hell out of dodge and aim for somewhere out of the city. Try and go via home and rescue family. The other option if thats stuffed is aim for north and keep going to my mother's. Perhaps find you lot on the way. My mother lives in an isolated area, chances are the infection will not travel that far as zombies will find it hard to cross the hills to get there.

[nina321.livejournal.com]

Well, I certainly don't intend on killing any of them. I probably wouldn't know where to start.
About the most vicious weapon I could realistically lay my hands on is either the umbrella in the boot of my car (not very fierce at all), perhaps the twirling staff under my stairs, maybe the snowboard (cumbersome but sharp) in my garage, but the back door is shut, so I'd have to move the bins and open the garage door and I suspect that would attract their attention. Perhaps my wok! That thing weighs a freaking ton.
Meanwhile, I've just been to asda. Phew, lucky I didn't get bitten while I was there! haha...
So I'm stocked up, and my doors are locked.
Short of that, I've got new rock boots by the front door (metal panels ftw) which I can use to kick what little living shit they may have left in them.

Short term prospects? Good...
More than a couple of weeks? I think I'd get so bored, I'd fashion a weapon out of a table leg or somehting and go out and woop some ass.

[firebastard.livejournal.com]

well i've got the works van here, so i've got access to about 20 gallons of flammable fuel, chainsaws, axes and other edged tools used in gardening (all great brain destroyers) i'd get me and whoever I could in the van and try make my way to the secure nursing home near my mothers, it's and old castle with big walls and a bomb shelter from the war. after that i've no clue

[nina321.livejournal.com]

Mind if I link to this post in my journal?

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Erm, this is a meme, you're supposed to. :o)

[rirekon.livejournal.com]

Second floor in an office with a vending machine and water coolers, and I believe security glass windows. Shove some tables down the stairs to block them, jam one in the lift to keep it on our floor (you never know...), then start broadcasting distress messages over mobile and inter web, sit tight and wait.
Short term - Sorted, can last for a little while here no worries.
Long term - On the outskirts of town, so probably pretty good chances, considering the area I figure decent odds of rescue.
If all goes horribly wrong then I'm probably fucked, ah well

[ebb.livejournal.com]

Depending on whether or not they're at the door downstairs;

1) Arm myself with knowledge and goods:

a) KNOWLEDGE
Do a quick net search, see what goverment advice was and get a 'how to hotwire a car' guide.

b) WEAPONS
Where I am is secure briefly but not long term and whilst we do have water on tap, we don't have food. I'd have to move. And I have no weapons which immediately come to mind. However, there are a couple of large golfing umbrellas and lots of cheap wooden shelving I could deconstruct to make some bludgeoning weapons. Additionally, downstairs we have a chiropractitioner and a furniture store. I'm sure one of them or both of them would have something which I could use as an effective weapon.

c) FOOD
I'm right next to a large Tescos, so would head there to get tinned goods (also double up as weapons), dried goods, alcohol, water and med supplies. The alcohol serves 3 fold - cheap vodka will help disinfect non-zombie wounds, will serve as flamable liquid and will help me to blank it all out if I get stuck or bitten. I have a large handbag with me at all times so could probably manage to carry all of this too.

d) ESCAPE
I'd steal a vehicle from the large Tesco's car park if there were any left, if not try to find one close.

2) Pannic. If devalmont is where he's said he will be, I could try to get there but it's in the town centre and I don't fancy my chances. The best bet would be to head towards a military base I think but I'd follow the advice given in 1a if plausible. I'm heading away from Cambridge and I want to get high, secure and out of the way quickly. So I'm looking for a castle or a cathedral. Bascially anything large which has big walls, a chuff off door and could be deemed as a collection point for citizens. Problem being, those kind of places are also likely to attract Zombies so I'm open to suggestions!

[cabd.livejournal.com]

Got a whole cupboard of flammable solvents behind me, all the oxidising agents you can shake a stick at, all the materials I need for detonators and a fully stocked toolkit at the end of the bench. You mentioned napalm, well, we can't make napalm in a hurry as such but you can make a bloody good approximation with the right solvents and polystyrene. Also got iron powder in a cupboard in the lab downstairs and aluminium up here, with some magnesium tape kicking around in the synthesis lab...

The first person to mysteriously catch zombiness in the building will be my boss, who will, strangely, end up getting thrown out of the window, leaving the keys to his porsche behind. Not that we're going anywhere until the initial rush calms down, but soon enough we may need a fast vehicle.

Going to rig the NMR machine to go belly up as a worst case scenario.

Get out of the middle of Cambridge later on, when the zommers start eating each others livers I should think.

Food and water wise I'm not worried at all. Even in January I'll feed me and mine from the British countryside, even from the suburbs. Not in the least difficult, if rather bland subsistence food.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd get a lift home from Dirk who has a car here. On the way out i'd hit the hardware store for weapons, we have a larege and healthy one. There are quiet backroad between work and home. If the traffic gets too heavy then I would walk the rest of the wasy through the common, there are large open spaces al;l the way home that would get me there. Jo is at home. We would bolt and reinforce the doors. Tyhen we would go and get food and head out to the Surrey hills. There are some reinforced towers that we could easily hide out in with a carload of food until things quieten down. Access for zombies would be difficult if we smashed up the walkways that get you up there, and the population is low enough to reduce the amount of killing we would need to do to a minimum. The added adavantage is local homes there use gas and oil fires to keep going, many have generators. We could acquire radios to hook up with other survivors as well from the manay abandoned 4wds about.

I would of course remember to take a tin openener. Though being slightly drunk at the opening of the zombie apocalypse could make everything trickier.

[whollyrandom.livejournal.com]

Out of building, car, home. When car becomes impracticable, abandon car. Steal other cars or transport if applicable and possible. Threatening others with violence is fine, though carrying through might be an issue, not least because all I have in my car is a Swiss Army knife.

Get home, find family, get out of home, gather locals (starting with the Mums of the Mothers and Toddlers group, since that's where the power lies), organise local defence. Organise systematic looting of Waitrose (over the road) and stockpiling of all non-perishables. Organise patrols whose primary brief is to watch out for zombies and bring in the lost, but also arm these as quickly as possible with makeshift weapons (start with people's garages, since these tend to contain most of the more dangerous household items and tools - also the local garden centre (Scotsdales) could be useful). Ensure that their main brief is to avoid contact unless necessary to prevent a small-scale incursion. In the event of large-scale incursions, we're leaving anyway.

Start drawing up plans for: a) finding somewhere more defensible - I'm not aware of anywhere particularly good in or around Cambridge, but other people might be; and b) taking control of local farms.

Take all good advice, but do my best to stay in charge. My family is best served by my being in charge.

[mazzarc.livejournal.com]

I have plenty of swords, knives, daggers, pointy things, sharp tihngs, and a psychopath with explosives knowledge. This along with plenty of tins in the larder, and at least 4-5 military friends just a call away... I'm set.

[mr-malk.livejournal.com]

Folk seem to have the zombie issue fairly well covered, and probably zombies have never heard of where I live, but for the record:

1. Boil kettle (not for offensive purposes, just for coffee).


2. Put on Big Boots & Bike Leathers. Maybe helmet if feeling really threatened.


3. Get axe and pick axe from outhouse.


4. Get cricket bat from box in study.


5. If coast is clear, go to garage and get large pieces of wood.


6. Run bath, to ensure supply of drinkable water if mains are cut off.


7. If coast is still clear, nip to corner shop to stock up on munchies and caffienated drinks. Lighter fluid or anything else offensive looking also, if there's any in stock.


8. Oh, and lots of vodka... damned if I'm turning my single malt collection into molotov cocktails!


9. Take step ladders upstairs and break bathroom skylight, so that I have access to the (flat) roof in an emergency. No, scratch that. Leave a hammer nearby, but don't break it unless I want out.


10. Wear a bandana. Just because I like the whole axe, bike leathers and bandana look. Brief pause to pout at myself in the mirror to raise my morale.


11. Lock and Block ground floor doors and windows with furniture and wood from garage.


12. Go upstairs. Place large sofa. where it can easily be used to jam the stairs if needed.


13. Retrieve large kitchen knives & steel. Sharpen knives.


14. Get rope from cupboard, check it will reach ground from roof height. Knot sheets if not.


15. Prepare Molotov cocktails. Mix with washing up liquid if we have enough to make it stick to target better.


16. Take matches upstairs. Ensure torches have plenty of batteries.


17. Get cans of hairspray out, just in case.


18. Retreat upstairs, pour myself a whisky, turn on Radio 4 (quietly), and keep lights off. Check front & rear windows regularly, but trying not to be seen from the street.


19. Tell the kids to be quiet or they get eaten by zombies.

Short to medium term chances good. If crisis unresolved after a week or two, would need to reconsider plan of action.