[Memery] Zombie Apocalypse Now

[karohemd]

(from dragonsire)

The zombie apocalypse begins - NOW! Whenever you read this, whatever you are doing at this moment - that's when you learn zombies are real, they are in your town, & sooner or later, they are coming for you. What do you do?

The rules:

You are yourself as you are at this moment. You are wearing the clothes you are wearing right now, you are at work, school, home, or wherever you are right now, and you have available to you only the items at your location as they are right now & that you can reasonably acquire. I.e., you can't knock out the desk guard & steal his pistol unless your office has armed security & you reasonably could get a gun away from one of them without getting killed or incapacitated yourself.

You are not superhuman. You can only do things you can physically do - if you failed P.E. & haven't set foot in a gym in 10 years, you are not going to be climbing down elevator shafts or sprinting 15 blocks home. Even accounting for adrenaline, you are as susceptible to fatigue, injury, & illness as you normally are.

You have only the knowledge you have right now. I.e., no saying "I go to the janitor's closet & mix ammonia with jelly beans to produce napalm" unless you actually know the ingredients, proper proportions, directions, & use of homemade napalm.

These rules also apply to all friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. No fair inventing an ex-Green Beret uncle unless you actually have one.

The zombies are slow-moving & stupid. They cannot communicate - except to attract other zombies to prey by moaning. They do not plan or coordinate actions. They can only be stopped by destroying the brain stem or being vaporized - other injuries may impair or slow them, but don't stop them. Zombification is spread by bite or scratch. Once infected, you weaken, sicken, & die within hours, then rise as a zombie. No one knows how the zombie plague began, or whether zombies are truly the living dead or infected by some bizarre plague. There is no cure or vaccine against zombification.

Variables like probable traffic jams, alternate routes, places of refuge, utilities, panic & chaos, etc., I leave to your judgment & knowledge of your own community, but in general I'd assume normal zombie-movie conditions - looting, car crashes, confusion, ineffective initial police & military response, etc., as the zombie panic spreads.

What do you do? What are your chances of short-term survival? Long-term survival?

ETA: Some of you lot scare me! ;o)

Comments

[fried-chicken.livejournal.com]

I'm in a secure building surrounded by a fence and security gates. As long as I don't discover about the zombies be them shuffling into the Office convince the security guard to seal off the building and carpark and then take stock of whose in the build, how many water coolers we had and stuff like that.

That would probably do for starters.

To paraphrase the REM Song...

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

I have a twelve pound lump hammer that could decapitate ANYONE with a decent swing downstairs, and I feel fine.

I have me, my Shrub and my Byron here with me. That's all the really important people accounted for. Everyone else better watch out for my mighty hammer-swinging arm of doom. My organic box came this morning, and the fridge and freezer are pretty full. Tesco's and Sainsbury's are both ripe for the looting in easy yomping distance. I'm settled for the long haul, I think.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I'd go downstairs and kill myself with the carving knife, because I'm too tired to do anything else that would prevent me being bitten to death by zombies.

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

In work, second floor - really not that secure! I'm going to grab my backpack; kick the ends off a coat rail to make a long blungening club and high tail it Tescos to grab myself some supplies pronto, panelling any zombie that gets in my way before I head home.

[chrisvenus]

He's not here at the moment to check but at any given time my workmate colin, has several swords in his car (he does re-enactment) so I think that's a good place to start. Gather everybody in the building into a secure area, scout out what's going on. Work out a way into the roof space (to hide the civilians more safely).

Then I suspect see what other makeshift weapons we could make. Syphon petrol from cars if practical, if the area looked safe go into the town center looking for further supplies (weaponry, food, drink).

In parallel with all this I'd have contacted my housemate who knows sacary people and has full security training (including firearms and such like) and probably has access to much weaponry and probably body armour. We'd arrange plans between us and all that too.

I'd live and so would most of the people with me as long as we had reasonabel warning.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think I'd go and be very nice to this man.

[devalmont.livejournal.com]

Once I'd run to Marks and Spencer across the road and done a high speed tax of all of their easily carryable and preferably non-perishable goods, I'd come back in here, shut the shutters, shut the door to the back offices and smash the keypad, lock the two inch thick steel doors, come upstairs, dragged the fridge and water coolers through into the stockroom, locked the electronic keypad lock and the two high security bolts on the door, and then settled down. For more water, bathroom facilities and internet access I need only break through to the next three rooms, all of which have door locks, and I could disable the fan in the air con unit for access to the roof, which could be turned back on to prevent any zombies getting down it.

Oh no, I haven't already thought about this at all!

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

Get dressed, grab SAC, get stick and kitchen knife. Call Laura, Paul D, Paul H, Robin, and head up A14 to meet up at Bar Hill area. Follow standard anti-zombie procedures from there and monitor all communication channels. Prepare for Evac to the east anglia region.

Short term - reasonable as anyone elses in the chaos.
Long term - good. got the crew, the skills, and the knowledge

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

Knowing you you'll get distracted by the vodka again. ;o)
Then again, I guess vodka bottles would make good molotov cocktails. ;o)

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

That is if Cambridge and the A14 aren't gridlocked by the time you find out.

You won't call me? Bah!

[eryx-uk.livejournal.com]

Get dressed, grab the big knife from the kitchen and head over to my folks place. Its a nice bungalow complex around a courtyard. Ring up Big Dave and a few of the other guys, get them over here and start putting up a wooden barricade around the site (I've considered this should we be lucky enough to get a real zombie apocalypse).
Theres room in there that we could have our own garden.

I'd avoid malls, super markets and the like, because they draw crazy looters and zombies.

[elethiomel.livejournal.com]

I'm in a secure government building in central London and I know where the firearms are. A number of my colleagues are ex-military, a few are ex-SF, some more are army-barmy.

I reckon, given our extant heirarchical infrastructure, we could arm and equip a couple of small search-and-rescue teams to comb the surrounding area, secure it and rescue survivors (hopefully I'd be able to persuade some to accompany me home (it's less than 10 miles), to grab ebq)

Our medical resources are limited but St. Thomas' is just over the river so that would probably be our first target. Food etc. wouldn't be a problem for a little while at least as there is a canteen here and there are plenty of lootable stores in the vicinity. By the time it did become an issue we'd be a significant force to be reckoned with.

[pmoodie.livejournal.com]

Hmmm.

I'm pretty secure here in my office, it's at the top of an old Victorian building and there are three doors I could lock to keep the zombies from me.

But I'd be worried about El, so I'd really have to go and get her.

There's a neighbouring building that's a short drop from my office window, so if the zombies were pawing at the door I could get out that way then make my way to El's work (which isn't all that far away) and take my chances against the zombie horde.

I can arm myself with a metal ruler and a craft knife! Watch out puss-brains, here I come!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Righto, I'll knock my collegue over the haed, nick his car and meet you there.

[professoryaffle.livejournal.com]

Well we have well equipped labs and are in the middle of nowhere so provided we aren't the source of the zombies we should be fine for a while

Plus I am sure the systems chaps who work in the offices below us will have it all under control!

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

I'm in the brewery...I have beer and a choice of places to hide...I'm staying put and drinking myself into the apocalypse...hic! :@)

[belaroo.livejournal.com]

I'm at home in Ely, the fridge is nearly empty what with it being the end of the week. I'd get the tool box from the garage and any other weapon like objects. Guess I'll be raiding waitrose then.
I say the residents of Littleport and Soham are zombiefied anyway so wish me luck.

[jholloway.livejournal.com]

First priority would be food and clean water, so I guess I'd join the looters for a short while and raid the tool shed for some kind of improvised weapon. Fortunately, Grantchester Street is mostly full of old people and students, at least some of whom are not back yet. Anyone else is going to get zombified at work, and the mass feeding areas are going to be in the city centre, not at the ass-end of the street. Communications could be a big problem, but otherwise I could probably go a long time without being noticed, and if Jane gets zombified I can probably overpower her pretty easily.

On the other hand, if Jane doesn't get zombified I'm going to have to look after her ... and Allison's plumb in the middle of town, and I can hardly just leave her to fight her own way back through the hordes, even though she would probably do it better than I would. Oh, and feanelwa is just around the corner, and I should look in and make sure she's all right. So it would be hop on the Beezer and time for a little adventure bike ride.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

I left a comment, then LJ said it was anonymous...stupid LJ, I'm logged in, grrrr

[commlal.livejournal.com]

Bugger.

Get out of work proto would be the main aim, too much potental for zombie swarm due to immobile patients.

Take as many antibiotics and painkillers (empty controlled drug cuboard) and sterile bits and bobs as I can physically carry. After that, raid the shop for easly carried supplies and water. Run to the liburary and nick a decent book on surgery (may be handy later)

Steal Dave's motorbike, or someones bycycle. Get the hell out of dodge and aim for somewhere out of the city. Try and go via home and rescue family. The other option if thats stuffed is aim for north and keep going to my mother's. Perhaps find you lot on the way. My mother lives in an isolated area, chances are the infection will not travel that far as zombies will find it hard to cross the hills to get there.

[nina321.livejournal.com]

Well, I certainly don't intend on killing any of them. I probably wouldn't know where to start.
About the most vicious weapon I could realistically lay my hands on is either the umbrella in the boot of my car (not very fierce at all), perhaps the twirling staff under my stairs, maybe the snowboard (cumbersome but sharp) in my garage, but the back door is shut, so I'd have to move the bins and open the garage door and I suspect that would attract their attention. Perhaps my wok! That thing weighs a freaking ton.
Meanwhile, I've just been to asda. Phew, lucky I didn't get bitten while I was there! haha...
So I'm stocked up, and my doors are locked.
Short of that, I've got new rock boots by the front door (metal panels ftw) which I can use to kick what little living shit they may have left in them.

Short term prospects? Good...
More than a couple of weeks? I think I'd get so bored, I'd fashion a weapon out of a table leg or somehting and go out and woop some ass.

[firebastard.livejournal.com]

well i've got the works van here, so i've got access to about 20 gallons of flammable fuel, chainsaws, axes and other edged tools used in gardening (all great brain destroyers) i'd get me and whoever I could in the van and try make my way to the secure nursing home near my mothers, it's and old castle with big walls and a bomb shelter from the war. after that i've no clue

[chrisvenus]

Well, I can give you an address if you want. The plan for if I'm home will be slightly different but I suspect my housemate is more likely to be home and thus we can do things together. And we do have a couple of swords and other weapons at home.

Have you really got no knights in shining armour nearer you or did I just convince you with my incredible confidence and the fact I can make that sort of plan on the spur of the moment that I am your best bet?

[ebb.livejournal.com]

Nice to see how rescuing me features in that. :P

[nina321.livejournal.com]

Mind if I link to this post in my journal?