karohemd | For whiskeylover and other law types

"Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part."

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Current Music: Cdatakill - Take Us Out of the Dark

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From:

whiskeylover.livejournal.com

and rotate, or cause to be rotated, or by any other means effect the rotation of

Anyway, that does not give us numbers. I would suggest the following:

one trainee solicitor to check the job description of the light bulb, read up on precedents, and ponder whether any action as to the displacement and supplementation of the lightbulb is justified.
one assistant solicitor to check over the aforementioned tainees work, make a decision as to whether such a course of action is advisabel and lucrative, and prepare the pleadings
one partner, to sign responsible and charge for the hours worked.

one barrister as counsel for the claimant (owner of the claimed non-functioning lightbulb)
one barrister as counsel for the defence, stipulating that it is denied that the lightbulb is not funcitoning; further, or in the alternative to claim that the lightbulb is in fact still fulflling its function for most of the day (as it would normally only be lit during those hours of the day, when the hours of darkness coincide with the hours the owner is not asleep). Furthermore, due to the current state of the lightbulb, the owner is making savings on his electricity bill, and that therefore the lightbulb is in fact working in the claimant's favour.
Therefore, any attempt to remove, replace or otherwise oust the lightbulb from its current position would amount to unfair dismissal.

one learned judge, to sip his port, and deliver judgment.

one legal secretary to call the electrician to change the lightbulb (provided judgment is delivered in favour of the claimant)