Common Sense
15 Oct 2002 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karohemdstolen from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
melacynthe
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United
States from heart failure on the brink of the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done
without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets
the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting
strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and
it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and
educational trends including body piercing, whole
language, and "new math." But his health declined when
he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-
it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing
regulations. He watched in pain as good people became
ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly
deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-
tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition. It declined even further when schools
had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a
student but could not inform the parent when a female
student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as theTen
Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally,when a woman, too stupid to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was kept informed of developments regarding
questionable regulations such as those for low flow
toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone!
melacyntheToday we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United
States from heart failure on the brink of the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done
without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets
the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting
strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and
it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and
educational trends including body piercing, whole
language, and "new math." But his health declined when
he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-
it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing
regulations. He watched in pain as good people became
ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly
deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-
tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his condition. It declined even further when schools
had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a
student but could not inform the parent when a female
student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as theTen
Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally,when a woman, too stupid to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was kept informed of developments regarding
questionable regulations such as those for low flow
toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone!
