Useless phrases
13 Jun 2002 08:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karohemdSome I've already known but most were new to me:
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember,half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
23. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
24. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
25. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
26. If all seems to be going well, you must have overlooked something.
27. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
28. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
29. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
30. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
32. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
33. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
34. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
35. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
36. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
37. A critter will assume the shape of the container it is packed into.
38. A good pun is its own reword.
39. Arachibutyrostomaphobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of your
mouth.
40. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
41. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
42. Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
43. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
44. Diplomacy is like saying "nice doggy" while you reach for a large rock.
45. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
46. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
47. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
48. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
49. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
50. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
51. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
52. Multitasking--screwing up several things at once.
53. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
54. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
55. Put on your seatbelt....I wanna try something.
56. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
57. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
58. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
59. There's no future in time travel.
60. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
61. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
62. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted,
then used against you.
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember,half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
23. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
24. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
25. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
26. If all seems to be going well, you must have overlooked something.
27. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
28. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
29. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
30. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
32. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
33. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
34. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
35. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
36. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
37. A critter will assume the shape of the container it is packed into.
38. A good pun is its own reword.
39. Arachibutyrostomaphobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof of your
mouth.
40. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
41. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
42. Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
43. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
44. Diplomacy is like saying "nice doggy" while you reach for a large rock.
45. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
46. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
47. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
48. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
49. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
50. I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
51. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
52. Multitasking--screwing up several things at once.
53. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
54. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
55. Put on your seatbelt....I wanna try something.
56. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
57. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
58. Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
59. There's no future in time travel.
60. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
61. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
62. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted,
then used against you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
;-)
no subject
Date: 13/6/02 07:11 am (UTC)The only one I don't get is the one with the chips and the empty Buffalo...
no subject
Date: 13/6/02 07:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 13/6/02 10:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 13/6/02 06:06 pm (UTC)Or maybe I'm just too innocent to get it ;o)
no subject
Date: 14/6/02 09:03 am (UTC)Hence, if the buffalo dropped all his chips, it is empty...
*sigh*