For robinbloke and others

[karohemd]

" Because of her mysterious ways I was fascinated with Dorothy and I wondered if she would ever consider having a relationship with a lion, but I have to admit that most of my attention was directed at her little dog Toto because, after all, he was a source of meat protein and I had had enough of those damn flying monkeys."

From the 2005 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest which has a load of gems like this. (found while LJ hopping)

Comments

[sparksoflight.livejournal.com]

" An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Although best known for "The Last Days of Pompeii" (1834), which has been made into a movie three times, originating the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword," and phrases like "the great unwashed" and "the almighty dollar," Bulwer-Lytton opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words that the "Peanuts" Beagle Snoopy plagiarized for years, "It was a dark and stormy night.""

Wow, I had no idea those other phrases apart from "dark and stormy night" were Bulwer-Lytton's! I always thought the "pen is mightier" image was a lot older. Hmmm. I always feel rather sorry for Lytton - is "it was a dark and stormy night" SUCH a bad opening line?

Hilarious contest though! The winner's was especially cringe-making.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

I didn't know, either.